My kindergarten teacher sure was surprised when she walked in the girls’ room at recess and discovered that I was the one who was sacrificing all those classroom kittens to the Goddesses of Methodical Crayon Worship! (See what being raised by a delirious coven of lesbian prostitute nuns will do for you!)
Painted as the piece’s doddering hero, Bill Vincent’s Professor Moxie seemingly expires while racing off to stop the chupacabra monster that has been slaughtering countless students. As his mournful charges carry on, eventually killing the faculty member they believe is responsible for unleashing the beast, a half naked Moxie re-emerges with the chivalrous group’s loud mouthed faction, Chet (Erik F. Hill), on his arm.
It soon becomes clear that, despite the 40 year age difference, something special is going on between Moxie, who reveals he is the mastermind behind the hungry creature’s escape, and Chet – especially as the younger man leans down to lick the older man’s nipple. This occurrence is so out-of-left field, though, that repeated viewings may be necessary to determine that you have just actually seen what you thought you saw.
Already over-the-top and strangely bad-enjoyable, this queer twist only adds to the film’s very unusual appeal.
So, until the next time, be sure to practice naked joy with all your devious mentors — and, as always, SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!