So many things have embarrassed Big Gay Horror Fan in his various living quarters over the years. Why you must remember the time that my actress friend Griselda sat on the couch in the living room without realizing she was resting upon my roommate’s rubber cock ring. It had blended in perfectly with that piece of furniture’s black leather exterior and she was blissfully unaware – despite my herculean efforts to rescue her! Horrors! Then there was the time that my building manager came into do a quick inspection and discovered mouse poo upon my stovetop. It had been dropped off, during the waning hours of morning, by an unknown (at least to me), yet very charitable visitor!
But, at the very least, I haven’t suffered the fate of Bruno Mattei’s characters in 1984’s deliciously ridiculous Rats: A Night of Terror. I have never ONCE been eaten alive, in my dwelling, by bucket loads of enormously flung rats!
Still, out of the many things to recommend about this enormously fun chunk fest, concerning a group of apocalyptic survivors who find more than they bargained for in the residence they are squatting in, is the copious amount of nudity provided by lean ‘n mean Cristoph Bretner (AKA Jean Christophe Bretrigniere)as irascible punk Lucifer.
Looking like a combination of Mick Jagger and an anorexic Goth child, Bretner exposes both lean arse and flopping pee pee as he beds the exotic Lilith. Played by lithe Moune Duvivier (whom apparently also essayed the all important ‘Nun on a Bicycle’ in the 1990 Molly Ringwald flick Strike it Rich), Lilith is dubbed in a dreadful Southern accent, and soon meets her fate via the film’s most memorable kill – a rat burrows its way into her sleeping bag entangled hoo-ha, nibbling its way up through her mouth!
Of course, Bretner soon meets his maker via the shrieking title monsters, as well. Thus proving, once and for all (again!), that nudity on film is very bad for the portrayer – but oh so good for us thrill-seeking viewers!
You can check out the trailer for Rats – which features the amazing Geretta Geretta (Demons) in a prominent Sigourney Weaver style role – here:
Meanwhile, Big Gay Horror Fan is always hanging with the fang sized rodents at http://www.facebook.com/#!/BigGayHorrorFan, as well.
Until the next time – SWEET love and pink GRUE, Big Gay Horror Fan!